Abandonment. (A note of sorts)

I wonder who will turn their back today
An urgent walking away
shutting down all communication
A sudden and unexplained silence despite a promise
of at least a goodbye.
The echoes of all that pain rolling down the years
I even told you that the walking away
the absence of goodbye was the pain
and having been told, knowing that
knowing what the worst was, you repeat.
If you understood this monster I live with
the dark, preying presence in my mind,
four letters PTSD, the never ending revolve
then you would know the sudden radio blackout
was the worst of all paths you could choose.
Dredging up the worst of the pain on repeat
showing the world is empty of hope after all.

Feelings of abondonement rush in like the tide,
What an apposite metaphor the tide is.
Ghosts haunt me wherever I go
I wish you could understand, at least try
instead of announcing a right to misunderstand
You know inside I’m dying and you don’t care
and that lack of care for the dying
is a reason to die from the outside now.

Darkness is all I see
darkness is what I will become now.

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