This post was prompted by a comment made to me. The comment was “Don’t be cross but I can’t remember…….”
My first thought was “why should I be cross”? But then I thought maybe that is what I do. Or at least it’s what I used to do. I remember so much. I remember too much. I’ve said it before but it’s very detailed. I remember things from my past but I don’t just remember things. I feel things in my memory. The memory involves music, smells, atmosphere, the exact emotions I was feeling at the time. I remember the exact details almost down to being able to look at my watch and see the time. For a long time I thought this was normal. I thought everybody remembered everything and remembered it in the same detail. So when people didn’t remember things that were important to me I would assume they’d chosen to forget and that would annoy me. It took me a long time to realise that my autobiographical memory is unusual. I think it is a curse. There are some things you need to forget. Feeling emotion all over again is not a good thing.
There is a spin off. There are things from when I was ill that I’m told that I don’t remember at all. It is a total black hole. Because I’m not used to that it unsettles me.