Silent Scream

Another raw scribbling. One day, I may get around to tidying some of these up into something that might resemble real poetry!

To be quite honest” she said
“I don’t even remember. But I know you
do you’ve said so often enough”
And I just wanted to scream. I think
I hid it pretty well but for a moment
I just wanted to let all of that out.
Oh yes, I just wanted to scream.
Not at her, you understand, not
actually at anybody else at all.
It being all about my own frustration
and pain and regrets and near misses.
A moment that for me feels that it
changed the entire course of my life,
would influence so many other moments
and play out endlessly in my head
reduced to oh really, I don’t recall.

I didn’t scream of course, it not
being the done thing really nowadays.
Not in polite society at least and we
were working so hard to be polite!
and anyway she considers me a
little bit odd at the best of times.
That scream is still there now rumbling
away at the back of my sorry mind
Maybe I should just go and kick the cat.
That’s a joke my dear reader before
you rush off to call animal welfare
Obviously a joke, we don’t own a cat!
But you know, strangely enough
it’s becoming far easier to move on
from that very tough painful moment
knowing now from our overdue talk
that there was never intent to take
me down that long and painful road.

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