So, today is the 20th anniversary of the Baltic Exchange bomb. I wrote a couple of days ago on Facebook that round number anniversaries should not really be any different to any others. But they do, of course, just because of the interpretation our minds put on them.
Emotionally, I feel ok. But it is still early in the day. That could change as we get into the evening and the time of the explosion. But I feel fairly ok about that and people around me are aware of the significance of the date.
I had an appointment later today in Central London that would have been useful. It wouldn’t have taken me to the site or past it. But it would have taken me very close and certainly within sight of the “Gherkin” building which serves as a permanent marker of the site from y perspective. That is not necessarily a bad thing. Checking in with my feelings etc is a part of the strategy for staying well. It might not have been comfortable but I am now used to that.
However, I have a pretty bad chest infection at the moment which has laid me quite low. I was previously coughing up blood and I am now on antibiotics with instructions to rest as much as possible. I am short of breath and all the other stuff you’d expect. Certainly travelling into London would tire me a lot and possibly make me ill for longer.
But there is the dilemma. Is that really a reason not to travel to this appointment or is it a convenient hook for avoidance?