This is in response to a comment left by Linda on yesterday’s post.
It seems the big trick of many abusers is to make the abused person feel as if it their own fault and they deserve it. I think their second biggest trick is that they even end up believing that themselves.
This particular relationship was not actually physically abusive*. But it was very emotionally abusive. I think physically abusive relationships are usually emotionally abusive as well. I also think that, in many ways the emotional abuse is far harder to deal with and has much more far-reaching effects.
* Although I think she liked to portray it as physically abusive. This came about when the need to paint herself as some sort of victim arose. I think this was to counteract, in lies, the truths she feared I may be telling to mutual friends. I was not; because I had chosen to keep my mouth shut. I know for sure that she liked to portray herself as being frightened of me. This is abject nonsense as some of her later behaviour (one of which was particularly abusive and I will write about another time) amply demonstrated. From fairly recent correspondence I think she actually still genuinely believes this. She had/has the sociopathic ability to believe her own lies if told often enough.