Guilt and Atonement (reviewed)

Guilt is a strange old thing. As I have touched on in an earlier post I felt massive guilt about aspects of the Baltic Exchange. This was despite, logically, knowing there was no reason to feel it.

Recently I have been in correspondence with two people from different stages of my past with whom I had quite different relationships. Both of them have expressed a feeling that somehow they let me down or did wrong by me. With that comes a sense of guilt and a need to make amends. They are both totally wrong. Neither of them did anything wrong. They are both lovely, gentle people who I have always remembered with affection.

On the other hand there is another person who did behave badly towards me in the past. I feel she was a major catalyst for my depression and my predisposition to PTSD. Yet she totally fails to accept any responsibility for her actions or even to acknowledge anything was wrong. When I was at my lowest ebb last year, and on the verge of suicide, she was uniquely placed to provide illumination on part of the problem. Not something that was ever going to happen.

As I say, guilt is a strange thing. It seems, from my perspective, that the people who should feel it the most actually feel it the least.

Advertisements

3 responses to “Guilt and Atonement (reviewed)

  1. Hi Guy, I’m finding your blog fascinating, thanks for sharing although I did mis-read this heading as guilt and allotment and wondered after reading it what the title was all about – it’s me… x

  2. I think the simple truth of the matter Guy as far as I am concerned, is that some people simply do not care about other peoples feelings and how it may affect them. Perhaps the people you mentioned in your commentary who felt guilty but had no reason to be, were just being nostalgic. Maybe the passage of time that had elapsed has clouded their judgement, of events that really happened back then?

    I agree the people who should feel guilt the most feel it the least. Probably because there is a yet to be discovered guilt gene embedded into these kind of people that makes them behave this way! In todays ‘hardened’ world guilt is seen as a weakness.The evolution of man still has a very long way to go.

  3. A good lesson Guy, not to let others define our self-worth. You sound like a strong person with a smart head on his shoulders, one who can recognize when someone represents an unhealthy relationship (of any kind). Knowing when to steer clear of people like that is half the battle!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s